So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
