I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
