Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
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