Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
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