I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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