I am puke
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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