Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
