Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Randomize
