planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
When did angry sex become our thing?
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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