its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
