went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
How does it feel to date your dad?
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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