kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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