when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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