those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
