you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
