I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
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