is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
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