i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
