3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
