umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
