this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
