you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
