We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
