Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
i dont even know how to be here
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
