he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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