yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
it's like heaven, but drunker
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
