So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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