i don't like sucking hair
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
