hotel room ftw
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
