The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
