in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
