I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
