In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Randomize
