her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
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