when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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