You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Randomize
