Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Need sex. Gaining weight.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Randomize
