Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
