My room smells like vodka and shame
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
