Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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