I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
she peed on how many people?
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
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