Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
