I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
