How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
