dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
