Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
