you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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