he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
We are two peas in an std pod
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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