i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
