i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
