I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
BRING THE BAGELS
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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