are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
