just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Randomize
